Another 3.1

It was kinda difficult to get myself going today, but I’m glad that I did. I only ran a 5k, 3.1 miles, but that’s all that was assigned for today anyway.

As I was running today I wondered if 3-5 mile runs would be enough for me if that would happen to be my new restriction. I think that for awhile maybe it would be. I still have a lot of improvement to do with running so I think that I could find many ways to challenge myself initially, but long run I think I would get bored. So we’ll see what happens. For today, I’m just glad that I got myself up and running.

It was a great run. My leg and knees didn’t bother me. Most importantly, no abdominal issues. But that’s not surprising. My problems only seem to occur on runs longer than 5 miles. I pushed myself. Most of the run was at 6.2 mph and then I kicked up a lot for the last 1.10 mile. I shaved some time off of my run Monday. It may only be 19 seconds, but improvement is improvement!

I received some results yesterday as far as the blood work and CT are concerned so I’m hoping to hear from my primary care provider today to see where we will go based on those results. And I still have my GI appointment on Tuesday. In a way it’s overwhelming, but I’m glad it’s all happening so fast. I hate sitting around waiting to see what is going to happen! But I feel better today. A lot. Everything will be okay. No matter what is thrown at me, I’ll find a way to deal. Hopefully all I have to do is drink more water, though .

Thanks for all of the support, friends! You’ve been great! I’ve truly appreciated the messages, comments, and those who see me in person asking how I’m doing. I have the most fantastic people in the world in my life! THANK YOU!!

Pity Party, Table for One

I’m feeling kind of guilty about not running today. It was a scheduled run day, after all. I’ve just been so tired and bummed and preoccupied. Plus my legs and knees were really hurting so maybe giving myself an extra day of rest from running wasn’t the worst thing ever.

I will run in the morning. I’m only assigned 3-4 miles so I should be able to handle that. Hopefully this little “funk” won’t last long. I’m looking forward to having more answers, but that seems so distant. I’ve had a few tests and I’m pretty sure there are more in my future so who knows how long it’ll be before I finally know what’s going on and how to safely get this done. I said that I was going to continue to train in the mean time and that is my intention, I just need to slap myself across the face and wake up. Any takers? Not so fast…

I blame the lack of caffeine. I haven’t been drinking caffeine because it causes vasoconstriction and does nothing to help hydration. I love caffeine. I love coffee and Diet Coke. I miss them. Thankfully the withdrawal headaches have stopped. Now I just need to work on drinking a lot more water!!!

For the record, I am very aware that there is a great big world full of great big problems going on right now and while I have something going on, at least I’m fortunate enough to have the resources to seek treatment. What a gift that is. And I am thankful. I think it’s time to call off the pity party. I’m young, I’m tough, no matter what is thrown at me I feel like I stand a pretty good chance at coming out on the winning side. Worst case scenario, I go down swinging. Hmm…that sounds a little more morbid than intended. Pretty sure you know what I mean.

Bed time. I need to get up early to run, work, and then pack for a mini-vacation with my boys. Who could be sad when they’re about to have a weekend away with two of the most amazing guys any girl could ever hope to have in their life?
I definitely need a slap across the face.

Confession Time

Confession time.

I’ve always been very direct about the many trials I have experienced during my training, no matter how embarrassing, but I haven’t really been discussing the latest development. At this time I still do not want to go into a lot of detail, largely because I do not have a lot of details to offer but I’ll give you a very brief rundown.

This season of training has put more stress on my body than it has in the past. Maybe it’s because I have an increased amount of longer, more intense runs? Maybe it’s because I’m hydrating less than I used to? Maybe I’m just aging very, very poorly? In any event, I have started to experience some abdominal issues that never occurred before. There are many and mostly involve nausea and pain.

After about 5 weeks or so, I have decided to seek medical attention. Yes, I waited 5 weeks. This whole time I’ve just been hoping that the problems would just go away. Being a healthcare professional, both of these admissions are painful, embarrassing, and deserving of many lectures. Which I have received, but feel free to contribute if you feel so inclined.

I saw my primary care provider this morning, had some blood work done, I go back for a abdominal & pelvis CT scan this afternoon and I have an appointment to follow up with a gastroenterologist next Tuesday. Since of all this testing is just now beginning, that is why I do not have many details for you and even fewer answers as to what is going on in this ridiculous body of mine.

Most of the time I am fine and the problems occur primarily after any run that is more than 5 miles. The thinking so far is that I am not keeping myself as hydrated as I need to be. And it’s also possible that for the running that I do I might require a little more hydration than most would. Not a great time to be special.

So far I do not have a straightforward, foot down order to stop running. There is still a lot to be learned from the testing ahead of me. The recommendations have been leaning toward taking it easy until there are more answers and that is kinda tough to hear.

My plan? I’m gonna test the waters. Pun intended. I am going to start super hydrating and see how that goes. If I continue to experience the issues that I have then I will take it a little easier until I meet with GI docs and see what they think. Hopefully water is the answer. If not, I’m going to work with the docs to hopefully come up with a plan that will allow me to safely train for the marathon. There is a chance that this will not be possible, but let’s be glass half full, shall we?

This is so unbelievably frustrating, and a little bit scary. But isn’t the unknown always a little scary? It’s put me in a pretty bad mood, but I am determined to find a way to safely continue my training. Fingers crossed.

Well that’s about all that I have for now. I promise to follow up when I have more information.

As always, thank you for your support! I really, really hope that I don’t end up letting anyone down…especially myself. I am so excited about running this marathon! I hope it isn’t taken away from me. I guess time will tell.

May 20, 2013 — Just a li’l 5k

Really great run! I’m dripping with sweat, but it was still a good run. It absolutely FLEW by. Considering the past few weeks the majority of my “short” runs have been 5+ miles so it was amazing to be done in half an hour. I was assigned 3-4 miles and decided to run a 5k, 3.10 miles.

In order to spend some extra time with my boys I stayed on the treadmill. It was still sooo hot though! I can’t even imagine what July and August will be like. Very thankful for this treadmill. It’s really helping in so many ways.

Next run is 6 miles on Wednesday and then another 3-4 on Thursday. I think I will try to find a place where I can test my 5k pace. I kinda doubt there will be much of a change, but it’s a little something to mix things up. Definitely could use something like that!

I’m happy to report that the run went well. Despite some sharp knee pain (bilateral, but primarily right) the past few days the run was easy. I had a tiny bit of pain at first but it quickly went away. I really can’t complain about the run at all. Thank goodness!

I might need to switch up the schedule just a little bit due to travel in the next couple of weeks, but I’ll be sure to get my runs in one way or another, as long as it can be safely done. Lots going on right now! Details to follow.

Thanks for all of the cheers tonight! You guys are amazzzzing!!!

Wanna know my run schedule this week?

Run Schedule this Week:

Monday: 3-4 Miles (pace run)
Tuesday: Cross Training
Wednesday: 6 Miles (easy run)
Thursday: 3-4 Miles (pace run)
Friday: Cross Training
Saturday: 8-9 Miles (long run)
Sunday: Rest

I am REALLY looking forward to this easy week. The run yesterday went great, but it’ll be nice to have some easier, shorter, quicker runs. Maybe I’ll test my 5k speed again on Monday or Thursday?

Enjoy your Sunday and have a GREAT week!!

May 18, 2013 — FINALLY! A good run!! 10 Miles.

Well thank goodness this run went well.

Time is of the essence because I desperately need to shower before I head into work today. I can’t believe I managed to get myself up this morning to run 10 miles after working all day yesterday! I’m very proud of myself. What’s even better is that this run went GREAT! My knees were a little sore throughout but not even close to unbearable. I didn’t even have a terrible time getting myself going! I even kept at an average pace of LESS THAN 10 min/mile! That is absolutely amazing to me. Especially considering the challenges I have been facing lately.

I started get myself up about an hour before I needed to start running. I made a cup of coffee, ate a banana and got ready to run. I guess it did the trick! The majority of my run was at 6.2 mph. I think it really helped that I had the house all to myself which meant no distractions, worries or guilt with leaving my little guy ever so slightly unattended (although he is ALWAYS in the same room as me when I am running) and I got to watch what I wanted!! Which was, of course, Grey’s Anatomy.

Watching a long show helps on these long runs. I cover up my running board and just watch tv and try to not let myself peek until an episode is over and adjust my speed according to comfort level. Not watching every single 0.01 mile go by is very important!! It takes wayyyy too long when you do that. Also, on a day like today, two episodes and I’m pretty much done! I would have to watch many more 20 min shows and a movie just seems depressing and like I’m up there forever. This was perfect. Also, for those interested, I watched the episodes where the guy is shot in the chest by a cannon thing but it never exploded so there’s live ammo just in the OR…it’s intense. I swear I could get a cardiovascular workout without even running! (Nerd alert…) What can I say, I’m a terrible television junkie. It’s my thing, don’t judge.

Okay, I REALLY need to get going now. Shower and prepping some food for the day.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!!! Thanks for your support!!!!!!!!!!

May 16, 2013 — Love Like a 2 Year Old

Crap City.

Probably my worst run…ever? I am so so so upset. This run was just awful. Very painful. Embarrassing. I did HALF the amount of the lower end of my assignment today. Half! I could only muster slightly over 3 miles when I was supposed to run 6-7. Bad, bad, bad.

Why did I tucker out so soon? Pain, for one thing. Right away I was having a lot of right sided abdominal pain as well as bilateral knee pain. Very sharp (knees and abdomen). I was still moving though. Very slowly (for me) but I was getting through it. At 3 miles I was definitely feeling it, but thought I could still go on. In order to make it to 6 (at least) though I decided to take a quick break. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! When I started going again I was in 10 times the amount of pain! Even walking hurt. I tried to get moving anyway, I couldn’t even get up to 4.5 mph. It was terrible, sharp, intense pain.

I had to stop. I don’t know if eventually the pain would have subsided, but I wasn’t very willing to stick around to find out. I know it’s important to listen to your body and understand limitations, but I still feel like a failure, a quitter, weak.

But honestly, even more than that, I just don’t care. I am very irritated right now. Right now, the past three runs have not been fun. At all. They haven’t been relaxing at all. They’ve just been work. And exhausting. And painful. It makes me not want to do this, quite frankly. It makes me want to quit and go back to when running was something I did for fun. I want to be someone who runs 3-5 miles a day for fitness and clarity and for the love of running.

This is just a bad week. I am not giving up, I am not quitting. I am just giving myself a chance to…whine, I guess. This training is a test of all sorts of strength: physical, mental, and emotional. Most days that’s fine. I am a strong person. But when it’s testing all three at once, that’s when it really gets difficult. That’s where my support system comes in! Right after this run I called Chris who talked me through it and snuggled with my little guy who is too young to realize that sweaty, smelly mommy is super gross.

If only we could all love like a 2 year old.

Well, I guess it’s not the end of the world. Fortunately I have tomorrow off from running. I will need it between working and the distance run coming up Saturday after working 12 hours Friday and before working 12 that same day. I admit, it has me really worried. I’m concerned it won’t go well. I’m worried I won’t be able to do it. I’m worried that I will fail. But the biggest failure would be not trying.

This is just a tough week. Fortunately, there are 52 in a year, 22 until race day, and many, many more than that over the course of a lifetime. I think I’ll be alright.

May 15, 2013 — Technical Difficulties, Wardrobe Issues…just another day

Welll bummer.

Today was a bit of an experiment with my Nike+ app. My bff Rachel told me that I could wear my iphone with the app running and it would still record my distance. This has been true. I have done that several times now. I usually have to adjust the distance at the end according to what the treadmill says, but it works and it’s fairly accurate. Well, today I got the bright idea that I wouldn’t wear it, I would just have it sit there so it could record that I was running, I could hear the cheers I love so much, and at the end I could just adjust it to the distance that I ran.

No such luck. Since it technically showed that I did not cover any distance in the 40 minutes it was running, it just erased it. Bummer! I like having my runs recorded on there and since it erased, I have no idea who the awesome people who cheered for me are! Look, it’s hot, even in my house, and I always have to calibrate it at the end anyway, so I figured I just wouldn’t wear the band. My bad. Kind of irritating but a lot of learning experiences are I suppose.

Anyway, now that we’ve discussed technical difficulties shall we move on to the run? I was assigned 4-5 miles, easy run, and I ran 4. I had hoped that I would be able to take Jace out in the jogging stroller today but with the wind blowing the way it is I decided to not torture myself. The run really wasn’t that bad. I ran around a 10 min/mile pace and did actually start to tire out a bit early. I blame the heat. Even though I was indoors and had a luxurious fan in my face, it was still pretty hot. I shouldn’t whine. Races are outdoors, rain or shine, heat stroke or frostbite. This treadmill spoils me. But at least I’m able to get my training in. There will be more outdoor runs to prepare me.

I conducted another experiment today in addition to the unfortunate placement of my iphone. I decided to try wearing shorts and a tank top while running. I had the highest of hopes that my thunders would place nice with one another and the flying squirrel look the skin around my biceps provide would not be an issue either. I’m at 50%. My arms were no problem at all. Yay! That’s encouraging because if I can’t wear shorts, I would like to wear tank tops to help keep me cool when I run. And tan.

The shorts did not go over as well, quite unfortunately. I’m so disappointed! Things were going great for the first three miles! I was so encouraged! And then the familiar feeling of chafing set in. Bummmmmer. I just want to wear shorts, people! What’s the point of running all these miles and getting a decent pair of legs if you can’t wear shorts? Oh, to be strong enough to run a marathon. That’s right. But still! I wanna wear shorts!!! It’s very aggravating. Definitely disappointing. So disappointing. Two years ago I always wore shorts when I went running with no issue. I’m very hopeful that as I continue to lose weight the ability to wear shorts will be a reward. Here’s desperately hoping.

Anyway, THANK YOU so much to those who cheered for me. I’m sorry things didn’t work out this time with the app. It won’t happen again! And thank you to those reading and supporting me on a regular basis. You guys rock!

Oh yeah, my run schedule!

No excuses, right?

Again- I just was not feeling it! What is the deal here?? I even just had a great run. Normally that makes it a little easier to get going on the next one. Nope. Not today. Thank goodness it wasn’t as tough as Saturday though. Saturday was AWFUL for making myself run. Today I really didn’t feel like it but I really didn’t fight it either. I had been planning all day that I would run as soon as I got the little guy to bed and that is exactly what I did. I’ve had an upset stomach all night and I momentarily considered allowing myself a pass due to that…and then I made little bows out of my shoelaces and got my hiney moving.

I guess it wasn’t awful. My stomach continued to bother me for the duration of my run, but it didn’t really slow me down. I had just over a 10 min/mile pace. Considering I was able to sustain that pace for 10 miles just a couple of days ago, I really should be able to go faster. I’ll try to work on that this week.

I was assigned 5-6 miles and ended my run at 5. I steadily increased to the 6.0 mph pace in the first mile and held onto it until mile 4 when I did my typical steady increase to 7.0 by the end. That last mile actually went really well. There are many times when I am really struggling and begging for time to go a little faster, but today it felt pretty solid. I guess it’s time to step it up a notch!

I’m happy to report that while my legs, knees in particular, were quite sore and fatigued Saturday after my run, I have had no pain at all today. I didn’t even have any pain while I was running. So I guess it’s good that I didn’t have that excuse to fall back on. The boyfriend left earlier today and that’s always a bummer so that does nothing for the motivation level. But, I think running has really just become a habit. Even if I don’t really feel like doing it. It has become something that just isn’t optional. It’s a good thing! I just really, really hope that soon enough running isn’t something that I am having to psyche myself up to do. Still many months to go so I have faith.

Thank you SOO much for the cheers! I feel like it was just nonstop and I LOVED it! Tonight was a bit rough and they really, really helped! Your support means the world to me!

May 13, 2013 — Puke.

No excuses, right?

Again- I just was not feeling it! What is the deal here?? I even just had a great run. Normally that makes it a little easier to get going on the next one. Nope. Not today. Thank goodness it wasn’t as tough as Saturday though. Saturday was AWFUL for making myself run. Today I really didn’t feel like it but I really didn’t fight it either. I had been planning all day that I would run as soon as I got the little guy to bed and that is exactly what I did. I’ve had an upset stomach all night and I momentarily considered allowing myself a pass due to that…and then I made little bows out of my shoelaces and got my hiney moving.

I guess it wasn’t awful. My stomach continued to bother me for the duration of my run, but it didn’t really slow me down. I had just over a 10 min/mile pace. Considering I was able to sustain that pace for 10 miles just a couple of days ago, I really should be able to go faster. I’ll try to work on that this week.

I was assigned 5-6 miles and ended my run at 5. I steadily increased to the 6.0 mph pace in the first mile and held onto it until mile 4 when I did my typical steady increase to 7.0 by the end. That last mile actually went really well. There are many times when I am really struggling and begging for time to go a little faster, but today it felt pretty solid. I guess it’s time to step it up a notch!

I’m happy to report that while my legs, knees in particular, were quite sore and fatigued Saturday after my run, I have had no pain at all today. I didn’t even have any pain while I was running. So I guess it’s good that I didn’t have that excuse to fall back on. The boyfriend left earlier today and that’s always a bummer so that does nothing for the motivation level. But, I think running has really just become a habit. Even if I don’t really feel like doing it. It has become something that just isn’t optional. It’s a good thing! I just really, really hope that soon enough running isn’t something that I am having to psyche myself up to do. Still many months to go so I have faith.

Thank you SOO much for the cheers! I feel like it was just nonstop and I LOVED it! Tonight was a bit rough and they really, really helped! Your support means the world to me!